My cancer Journey 1/10 #1

It’s the night before and I’m listening to Leonard Cohen being stoned and moving my hips. Couldn’t be better. Gonna go eat a coconut popsicle. Back in a minute. I need a symbol for when I pause. “1,000 Kisses Deep” plays. Made a Mom special. Butter and Jelly. We got it in more lunches that any other. (not really) So That was dinner tonight. I need to go take my nighttime Meds. Wow when you’re stoned you just walk around aimlessly. I couldn’t remember why I walked to the kitchen. What a deep mix this is. It was perfect that I got up to walk to the kitchen to take the meds. The universe telling me to move. So I gave mom a bad rap. She always tried to make that cream cheese and jelly. And well most of the time that’s what we had in our lunchbags. But butter and jelly was her backup. I do wish I could figure how to display picture on Medium as icons instead of the whole picture. The pictures take up too much writing room. And well some stories are short. I’m not gonna post pictures of all 4 of my 100 mile swim club t-shirts. Way too much space. I could not possibly talk that long to get past the stupid pictures. (But I would post icons if I could figure it out.) “Lady Midnight” plays.

It’s almost midnight. Want to feel tired soon. Not ready to take one of those pills but maybe some of CALM sleep stuff. brb.

So I hung Touchdown Jesus on the wall facing my bed today. Kinda moved a few pics around. Then hung these 2 more. I’ll just have to talk sbout something while I get down to them on the page. Icons would really be nice here too. The 2nd Pic is called “Play Ball”. I like it. Haven’t had it up in a while. and the third one is a mirror that I will walk past alot. In front of the bathroom. And with all this

water I am drinking well I get to spend a fair amount of time in there. I pee sittting down now mostly. tmi Just so much easier for me to relax and have a good piss.

I have BPH which is fairly common in men. Benign Prostate Hyperplasia. My prostate is enlarged and it crimps the urethra so it’s harder to pee. I get PSA done evey year.

As long as you check it and do something if something is OK. Gavin ignored his high PSA reading from what I know. And it had spread too far before he knew it and it took him out. Took an Ambien. Be nice to crash. Big day tomorrow. What a great mix of songs. I’m gonna go close my eyes and hope I stay there one way or another.I found a new place to publish these stories that might be earlier to follow. I can’t figure out how Medium works So shoot me a text if you’re interested in a different site. I hope that one works too. It will be a few days out of date but that’s OK if it’s easier to follow. Well really if you’ree interested in it. It’s just my little journey. This one is OK to write on but I have very little control of any technical details controling what you see and in what order. Its’ all good. Here’s a good Leonard Cohen song. Night.

Slept well til 10:30 AM. Did not take a sleeping pil just one Ambien. Feet OK. still wearing those fleece socks. Sue had lent me an electric foot warmer which worked well. Once I get the stuff I bought at Amazon, I’ll be set. Got this text from Sue this morning. “Over 100 folks praying for you on All Saints online service this morning” That’s the Episcable church Sue goes to. She and Louisa (the refugee minister) put me on the prayer list there It is just all so humbling. So powerful. So many minds focused as One. Touchdown Jesus scores again!!!

Busy day and I gotta get on with it. Let’s look at the Course in Miracles. I’m what now 3 days behind. So here’s LESSON 8. I’m gonna go listen. “My mind is Preoccupied with Past Thoughts” Nice.

11:30 now. back after I do some things. Social Hour is at 2 PM and Family FaceTime at 3 PM and then Da Bears. Gonna be a GREAT afternoon. Put Bill Evans on while I shower and eat and get my day going. “My mind is preoccupied with Past Thoughts.” And I have a home for my grand piano.

Another one that’s been on my wall for years. It’s by Joy. It’s very hard to photograph. It hides behind light reflections on the surface of the glass. Of course I know NOTHING about photography. I’ll show you a few more from my walls. None of these pics came out great. And Medium distorts them anyway but you see what you see.

Emi Painted this one. She was part of that Atlanta Group led by Ramon.

I’m such a bad photographer. I don’t understand the most basic principles of photography.

This is one of Bob’s photgraphs. I have 2 of his hanging in the kitchen. I might have told you what it is when I wrote about Bob. He beams at me from the refrigerator whenever I go by in the kitchen. Take a look and see if you can see what it is.

Like most spritual organizations, Shambhala had a series of classes you take to get to some big bad graduation point I guess I’ll call it. Not that you’re done but you get kinda get a rank I guess. I don’t know. hierarchy gets developed. Well after the first 5 classes — Level 1 is basic goodness, level 2–3–4–5. And then you go to the Sacred Path, and that’s more weekend classes. I don’t know another 5 of them. The one I liked the best was called MEEK and this print which I found in San Diego at an art exhibit of Chinese zodiac signs is the same symbol for as for MEEK — well at least in Shambhala. So I bought it and hung it on the wall.

Family call was a technical disaster. Couldn’t get everyone on FaceTime so went over to Zoom. Ronna calls me on FaceTime so I’m holding the phone while she talks to the folks on Zoom. Then Jan calls on FaceTime and so I try to add her and I lose Ronna. So we’ve got Dave and Peg and Terri on Zoom, Ronna and Jan on Facetime at different times and me on both Zoom and FaceTime. It was comical at best but it was a good visit.

Then I just got a really good call from an old buddy Tom. He didn’t know I had cancer so we caught up and just had a really good visit. Also got to talk to his wife Cheryl for a minute.

Just ate a couple of gummies and I am watching the Bears. So once the gummies kick in I’ll be sailing. Hope the Bears win. Gonna go take a hit off the vape pen and give the gummies a head start. They take a while to kick in.

Oh they’ve kicked in. 7–3 Saints at the half. And it’s all kicked in.

Game is virtually. I was just lazy. Now I’m thirsty. Gonna watch the end of game. I hear the sound. 21–9 Saints. The over/under was 48. I hope you bet the under.

Ok been gone a while. And angel came to my front doo this morning. The lady across the street, Debbie married to David, a minister, brought a bag to my front door and rang the bell I think and then waived good bye — it was cold this morning trust me. If it was another Amazon package I would have left it. I didn’t really see who left it as she walked away. So I went a got it and brought it in.I had been stumbing zaround the litchen trying to figure out what to make. Eggs again. Well this little bag was mana from heaven. My breakfast became oatmeal and especially tapioca. Divine. And she left a thing of potato soup for dinner and I just ate that. Oh my God. With dill on top. Amazing. Now I am a good cook in my own right right. This is my new mailbox just put

in this summer by you guessed it David across the street. Here’s a link to his church. I’ve never been. I have to wait until the cursor is under the mailbox before I can add the link. So that’s my front yard. Carlos takes care it for me since I had my knee replacements. Really good guy, family man . From El Salvador. Ok I can almost give you the link. So my mailbox ia literally about to fall over. I had installed it years ago and done a good job but well in the humidity and

moisture, in the best of cicumstances a wooden mailbox post is not going to last more than 25 years here. I moved into my little house in 1996. So I decide I’ll go find some shims and see if I could pound them in the ground at the base of the mailbox to see if I keep it standing for a few more months. David walks over and asks what I am doing. I tell him plan. do you want some help. So he proceeds to tear out the old mailbox, dig out out and that meant breaking up the concerte footing I had poured when I put it in and I had made that way too big, so there was a ton of concrete to go after swinging a pick. So then he goes back hom with the old mailbox post. I know something was going to have to be done so had already been to Home Depot and getten a new green mailbox and the quickcrete to set the new footing. I was going to go buy a new post and ask Carlos to help me put it in. He proceed to build a mailbox post exactly like the one I had. the we pour the footing, set the post, level it out and let the quickcrete cure. I did so little to gelp on this project. It was a HOT summer day and David worked for hours. I stained the post the next day and got some brass numbers and did the cosmetic stuff. But the heavy lifting was David. So I don’t know how to say thank you. money not wanted, I found a lasagna That I had made for a Super Bowl party and that I still had in the feezer. Now this was a GOOD lasagna. I mean hot italian sausage with the ground beef. Sauce built from the ground up, 5 diffferent cheeses — let’s see if there were 5 — cottage, mozzarellas, provolone, parmagiano reggiano, Maybe just 4. Anyway the lasagna was good. So I gave to them with all my thanks. They did really enjoy it and their note said when they brought back my baking dish. So this morning this angel brings me tapioca and potato soup.

Tapioca is kind of a big deal in our family. You see my mom had her “go to” things. When I talk about mom I’ll talk again about how she did the food thing, but tapioca was one of the go to deserts. I mean pudding in general, but tapoca is what reminds me of mom whenever I have it. Now Debbie didn’t give me cooked tapioca like that, but it was nice to receive such a lovely surprise.

Got the Dead cooking. I watched 60 minutes after the Bears game. I guess a lot of shit’s been going on eh? I have not been paying attention to the news. So 60 Minutes is at least giving me the story that is what 5 days old and one segment was on the Georgia election oh and the last section was about Angus King from Maine. It was well worth the hour I spent giving in to TV. And now I know sort of I guess just how bad it got. I wasn’t there so I’ll never really know and that’s just OK.

So I have this friend that is a dinosaur. Mike now lives on Pine Island just off the coast of Fort Meyer. Mike doesn’t do email, doesn’t do computers, doesn’t do texting — none of that. Telephone only. He finally broke down and bought a cell phone, but wants me to only call on the landline. Mike and I worked together a company called Kentron during my second stint in San Francisco in maybe about 1981. It was after I was in Alaska but still had connections and pipeline expereince so I got on with a company that did “systems” for the pipeline. They hired me as Admin Mgr and put Accounting, Recruiting and Personnel under me. Now I had never really had a job like that before. each department had 1 employee. The accounting guy, Jimmy Kumagama was very good. The Recuiting guy was Glenn — lazy but had that good ole texas thing that made him easy to talk to and the personnel mgr was named… I forgot her name. Pat maybe. I had to fire her. She was completely incompetent. Now I had never done personnel but I knew she knew nothing about it. So I did. Well holy shit — I had not played the right politics AT ALL. I had no clue. She was the girlfriend of an Exec VP at the home office in Houston. Flynn was his name. They didn’t fire me then. They couldn’t. They needed help keeping the whole admin thing together so the company could work the project. The ended up demoting me to Contracts manager only. That’s right I was hired as Contracts manager and then they made me acting admin manager without ever using the word acting. And evetually they fired me. I worked with Mike there. He was an engineer. There were 3 engineering departments each working different systems for the pipeline. One was Telecom, one was SCADA and the other was where Mike worked, Distributed …something. I forgot what SCADA meant. but both SCADA and DCS — that’s it — were designing computer systems to do something. Mike and I have stayed in touch over the years. You know like a phone call one or twice a year. He’s from New York and he now passses though town going home once in a while and we have dinner with his wife Mary. So I know he’s never going to hear about it when I sent that first update out to family and a few friends. But I also knew he’ll never hear about it through the grapevine either since he’s not on the grapevine, he’s a dinosaur. So I called him and told him and he was sincerely shaken up and sorry. And we had a nice chat. Mike is who showed me Manhattan. He lived there and I went to Long Island on business alot since I was with that company ADDS (They made the dumb terminals I sold for some 12 years.) a division of NCR at the time. So wherever I went to a sales meeting or anything, I stayed the weekend and Mike and I ran around Manhattan. We saw a lot of music — at the Blue Note — all kinds of places. He even found Doc Watson playing in a high school auditorium one time. We went to Met together frequently. And NYC opera. I had the opera bug by then since I had experienced it from the inside out. Great times. Everything on foot. Exactly the opposite of LA where it’s all about the car. So Mike has all these lists. Top 10 concerts of all time, Top 10 best hitters in baseball, Top 10 female singers. You get it — the kind of thing that anybody could talk to anybody about for hours. Well I went to the Last Waltz and He want to BOBFEST at Madison Square garden. That’s a great concert to look at too. Let me go find you a taste or 2.

That made me feel good to listen to that again. So where was I. So we would talk about the football Giants and the Braves of Yankees - anything sports or music. We saw Rodney together someplace in San Francisco. We played golf when I went to his house down there in Ft Meyers once. Good guy but kinda a dinasour. I’m glad he knows at least. I know that people that know me really care about me.

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